ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

"So this is how it is abi?"

Valentine asks, his pidgin not really sounding the normal way that we Nigerians spoke.

"How what?"

I ask him back, I know what he is asking about, I knew it the moment that my phone rang, I knew that it was him even before I picked it up.

"Do not play dumb with me oga, I know what you did, I just finished reading your book."

There's anger in his voice now, but I am grateful, he does not resent me, he is just angry and anger is often due to miscommunication, a major problem in this part of the world. And since we were both communicating, an apology would fix everything. But still I act like I have no idea about what he is talking about.

"Ooh, that! What about it?"

"Ooh, that! What about it?"

He imitates me, his voice not masking his anger.

"Ooh what about it? What about it? I am your book, everything that you wrote about Tonye is about me."

"What?"

"What?"

He imitates me again, I try to be angry, to feel anything else but the remorse that I am feeling now but I cannot, my defense would be to keep playing dumb.

"Oh my fuckkkkkking God, you are still pretending."

There's a long pause.

"He's still pretending. Page seventeen, chapter two. . . ."

"What about page seventeen, chapter two?"

I interrupt him adding a little sacarsm my voice, I know what page seventeen chapter two entails, I wrote it.

"Please allow me to land, abeg, since you no wan allow me talk, na you just dey talk ahah ahah."

"I'm. . ."

Before I can complete my apology, I am interrupted.

"Wetin sef, you wrote a book and everything in it is about me, 'everything', and now the whole world is aware about what my entire life has been like, you are going to win a pulitzer or a noble prize, but you have taken everything thing away from me, my story is now out in the open and now if I ever tried to tell it people are going to say that I am copy copy. And the worst part sef is that you are in denial."

Then the line goes dead, he has hung up. I pace around my poorly furnished bedroom, my eyes swelling up with tears.

"Is this what fame is like? You lose all your true friends? And end up with desperate wannabes like that Chisom guy?"

That one know that I can read through his "weldone bros" greetings. I try to think, I try to think, I am still trying to think, nothing, nothing comes up, my head, my mind, they are all blank.

I sit on my bed, it is the only real expensive thing in my poorly organized bedroom and also the only thing that I didn't buy second hand. The rest - the tables, the chairs even the curtains all came with my three weeks old three bedroom flat.

The previous owner, Papa Sokowan had died of a stroke and since he had stirred a polygamous family with four wives and nineteen children and like most Nigerian men of his time did not leave a will, his properties were all sold and the money was shared between everyone part of his huge family and the house being where he had stayed before he died had been gifted to his first wife who had long left him and wanted nothing to do with the house. She had quickly looked for a buyer. The house agent hadn't stopped bragging on the phone when he told me about the house.

"Oga you gas see the place oo, the house na better house, gaskiya!"

I let out a small laughter, my eyes are fixated on my phone's screen now, I dread calling him, I should call him back, I should apologize, the book wasn't entirely about him there were some parts where I had to write about my life too. For instance, Valentine had three siblings and I made them five, so he was just overreacting as he usually did.

But truth be told, he had every right to be upset, he had told me most of the thngs I had written in confidence.

I summon up the courage to finally do something about the phone on my hands but as I am about to dail his number, it falls on the purple tiled floor, the floor was the only reason I had paid for the house, I remember the agent, Mr Tolani's voice as he told me the floor was tiled.

"Oga me no go lie you walahi, the house na beta house, the floor get level, confirm tiles, purple sef, I swear down."

An elderly man old enough to be my elder brother Wasiu calling me "oga" because I was renting a house through him. My head swelled I won't lie, even when I came to first see the place and saw a gateman and the furnitures - all vintage, badly maintained but vintage, I had been very excited and couldn't wait to sign the lease.

Me! Small boy like me, just twenty-five now a landlord, no more renting! No more squatting with Uncle Illunokai and Aunty Emike, I was finally free.

I pick up my phone and dail Valentine's number. It rings, I hope he picks up. I silently prays that he picks up.

"Hello? What!"

He replies angrily.

"Look Lentin, am sorry."

"You are sorry for?"

"For," I take a deep breath, I exhale. "For writing about your life without your permission."

"But!" He replies abruptly.

"But what?" I ask, I am petrified of the next thing that he's about to say, I know that it would be anything but good.

"Ooh, you don't have anything else to add abi, like defend yourself and tell me things like I'm overreacting?"

"Do you want me to tell you that you are overreacting?"

I want to smile but for some reason that I cannot place my finger on I can't seem to move my lips.

"Noo, but I know you, you always try to defend yourself, you are always right and you are going to try to sound smart, that's why you are still alone because you use people and you can't admit that you are a user."

"That's a very cruel thing to say."

"Cruel? Cruel?"

He laughs, a very short and cold laughter, the type that he always does when he thinks someone is acting stupid but is too stupid to notice.

"Do you want to know what cruel is? Huh? Writing about the death of my mother like it was nothing. Something that I told you in confidence, you just put it out there, you didn't even try to change anything, nothing at all, not even the part where Uncle Joonah kicked me and my siblings out of our house, when we had to sleep in the market for two weeks straight up with no money and had to be doing carry carry in the market to survive. Even that part..."

He is whispering now. I know this part, the part that he wants to talk about, I know that that's why he is really angry and why he is whispering.

"That part about Alhaji Dantata raping Tonye, that's that time when Chief Obiora raped me and I told you that, everything!! Every fucking thing."

"I am sorry, I am really sorry but at least the book talks about child trafficking, two directors have contacted me and they want to do a movie on it. Don't you see, you story is going to inspire millions of people out there."

"While your account is going to keep getting huge with lots of money abi Mtcheeeeeeeeeew."

He hisses.

"You are still trying to justify it, you are still trying to make your self look good after doing a terrible thing. I had a chance to watch your interview with pineland on youtube and you lied about what inspired you to write the book."

The interview had been a surprise and had taken me unwares and I hadn't wanted to do it, but my publicist Rasheeda Omogbai, a former Muslim turned Christian fanatic who I can't stand because of how she is always so judgemental about certain things that are non of her business said that it would help promote the book even more. And it did, we sold two thousand more copies.

"About that, I was just thinking about you."

"Ooooooooh, so now you are concerned about me ehh? so now you suddenly care about how I would feel, when it was finally time to acknowledge me abi? Rubbish."

His voice cringes as he speaks, I can barely hear him, I assume it is because he has probably run out of saliva or maybe it's the reception, he's words suddenly come back to haunt me as I fall lazily on my bed.

I was infact thinking about him, I wrote alot of things about him in the book that I was worried that if anyone ever found out that it was his story, he would be ostracized from various places.

"I was thinking about you true true, I was worried of what people would say when they know that the story na about your life.

I start whispering.

"You know say I write about the abortion."

"Mtcheeeeeeeeeew."

He interrupts me with his hissing, this time his voice is back I can hear him clearly now

"Rubbish. Oga! There's nothing like bad publicity for this Naija."

He is right, there's nothing like bad publicity in this country, we have had politicians who have looted money go on Instagram and become famous. Their kids are verified on tiktok but the truth is that he isn't a politician neither was his father one. I find my tongue and apologize.

"Then I am sorry."

"You just keep saying that you are sorry but you aren't, you are not sorry because of you had any trace of guilt in that cold blooded body of yours you would had called you as soon as your book got published, even before you got published, when you been dey write am, you for dey inform me. But I had to find out from Christopher that your book was out and like a very big mumu I went to look for the book and bought it."

"I was scared."

I nervously play with my perfumed sprayed black bedspread, it's my strength for now.

"But you weren't scared to publish it abi? Who resemble ode for here ?Mtcheeeeeeeeeew. For your information, the book is crap, what kind of stupid title is 'Tears Of Boy' na Nigerian film?"

"Excuse me?"

I sit up as the words rush out with shock.

"You are excused. The writing is overrated, the only reason the book na even hot shit na because it shows that men can be vulnerable and aren't as strong as they claim to be. That's why people are rushing it. But truth be told, you are a very terrible writer."

I try to breathe but oxygen has failed me, my head starts spinning, the room whirling round too fast for my eyes to catch. My breath returns and I am suddenly angry, he had no right, how dare he?

"Take that back"

"Take what back?"

"About me being a terrible writer."

The god of air returns, suddenly my room feels stuffy and I start to feel like the air conditioner is the reason for it, I lazily search for it's remote with my eyes while still sprawled up on my bed but I don't see it, so I give up.

"Okay fine, you are not a terrible writer, you are not even qualified to be called a writer because all you did was copy and paste."

"Fuck you."

I say with all the strength left in me, I am drained emotionally.

"Fuck you too Hakeem, who the fuck do you think you are? You dey mad? Wait, you dey vex? Hehehehe"

He laughs, a laughter filled with surprise.

"See this guy ooo, you are actually angry that I told you the truth, don't make me come down to Lagos tomorrow morning and break your nose ooo."

I remember now that I deserve this, that I am a fraud who stole his best friend's true life story and wrote it down to make money. That this house, the car packed outside, it's all because of him.

"Am sorry but you can't talk to me like that, I don't like it."

"You don't like the truth?"

"I am grateful that you told me the truth but you could had said it another way."

My voice is calm, I am humble, I really needed this, a real friend, so far ever since I became famous, I have just had people smiling at everything that I said, even when i sounded angry, they still smiled.

Two days back, in annoyance I had called my secretary a big for nothing goat, I remember standing there as the words left my mouth in my newly acquired office as he smiled and said.

"Sorry sir, so sorry sir, it won't happen again."

I had felt a brief rush of adrenaline in my body as I had thought that he would had gotten aggressive or even violent, after all, he was older than me, had finished school before me and was in a very serious relationship while I was still single and getting used to my recently gotten wealth.

But Sum didn't, he had just smiled and that had really scared me. Later when I called him back into my office on the pretext that I wanted to teach him how to arrange the files properly do that he couldn't make the same mistake that he had made, truth being that I wanted to apologise, he just smiled while I had apologized and when I was done, he said.

"Yes Sir." Not. "I forgive you Sir." Because I was the boss. I was now a boss, and that had scared me even more. So I really needed this tongue lashing from him.

"Well, there's no other way, if you wanted another way, then you would had consulted with me first because you went to write eight hundred and fifty seven pages about my life. Is that what I am worth? Eight hundred pages?"

"Well I couldn't find anything else to write and besides it's not all about you, the entire book isn't about you."

"Like where?"

There's pure utter disgust in his voice right now.

"Page two hundred and fifty, chapter four, that was fiction, a scene I saw on one movie like that."

"I don't know what happened in page two and fifty. Oga! Can you be specific?"

"That part where Tonye robs the cashier"

"Mtcheeeeeeeeeew, something that I told you, e be like say your brain dey touch, fiction indeed."

"I am sorry that I wrote your life story without your consent, what else do you want me to say? The deed as already been done, if na the money we go both share am, I don't want anything to come between us."

"You just don't get it do you? It's not about the money or the fact that you wrote my life story without my consent, it's about fact that I wasn't acknowledged, that it meant nothing to you. That you get to go on with your life and sleep fine and live off my life story meanwhile there's no Valentine Ojochegbe Markus in your acknowledgement because I mean nothing.

It's just like in our final year in the university were you claimed to be Rufus's paddy but his name wasn't in your project acknowledgement. I, want to open that book and I want everyone to open that book and see my name on the acknowledgement. I want you to go on interviews and acknowledge me even if it's not as the owner of the story."

I take a deep breath then hastily inquire as the air leaves my lungs.

"But who even reads acknowledgements sef?"

There's is a very long hiss from his side of the line before it goes dead, I bring my phone down from my ears to check it and am grateful that I had ran out of airtime and that he didn't hang-up.

I feel something beneath me,I sit up and grab it use my hands to bring it out, covered by the bedspread is the air conditioner's remote, I turn off the air conditioner with it's remote, praise Allah, it works.

Moon light streams through the window as I fall grunting on my bed. He needs time, all he needs is time.

BY DAVIDFNYCOUNTRY AUSTINE OGBADU.

MEANINGS OF WORDS IN PIDGIN.

Abi : right?

Oga : Boss, Sir.

Land, abeg, since you no wan allow me talk, na you just dey talk ahah ahah : Speak, please, for a while now you don't want me to speak, you're the only one doing the talking.

Wetin sef : what is it?

Copy copy : spying, intruding especially on someone during an exam.

Sef : is, ooh.

Weldone Bros : good day sir, good day brother.

Oga you gas see the place oo, the house na better house, gaskiya : Sir you need to see the house, it's a great house, truthfully or honestly.

"Oga me no go lie you walahi, the house na beta house, the floor get level, confirm tiles, purple sef, I swear down" : I wouldn't lie to you sir, it's a really great house, the floor is very good, the tiles are original and not fake, I swear to the ground.

Carry carry : Aiding to carry goods for people and get paid in return.

Mtcheeeeeeeeeew : the sound that comes from hissing.

True true : truthfully.

Naija : Nigeria.

When you been dey write am, you for dey inform me : You would had told me while you were writing it.

Mumu : Fool.

Who resemble ode for here : Who looks like an idiot/stupid/fool here.

Na even hot shit na : In demand.

You dey mad? Wait, you dey vex?

Hehehehe : Are you crazy? Wait? You are angry? Hehehehe.

E be like say your brain dey touch : it's like you probably have a mental problem or disorder.

If na the money we go both share am : If it's the money, we could both share.

Paddy : close friend.